May 2012
3 posts
“Funny how alcohol can both start and end relationships. Oh vodka, my friend,...”
– hungover sunday revelations
2 tags
Steak and Naked
I think I’m perfectly capable of cooking a 7 course meal if I so chose; but I have a case of the “instant gratifications” and when I’m hungry, I want to eat, not cook. I also have this amazing and unfortunate indifference when it comes to variety…. I have no problem eating an omelette for dinner every.single.day. I really don’t care if my food looks appetizing,...
April 2012
1 post
February 2012
3 posts
1 tag
“Honestly the only people who shouldn’t be stabbed for wearing Uggs are babies...”
– Babe, from White Girl Problems managed to say what I’ve been struggling to articulate for years. Her description of the puffy monstrosities is poetry to my ears.
January 2012
2 posts
2 tags
2 tags
"Just because you're going through vodka...
So… that was Monday.
I’m back in the world of a waking up early, wearing a suit, working all day and going to happy hour. I love a steady paycheck and health insurance. I hate the florescent lighting and waking up early and wearing a suit and working all day.
I’ve been there long enough now that my co-workers are comfortable telling me how they really feel and I’m...
December 2011
1 post
November 2011
3 posts
You're correct Facebook...
As a matter of fact, I do know that person listed on the right side of the page. We went out one time 3 years ago, haven’t spoken since and share no mutual friends. The real question is, how do you know I know him?
You’re outta control Facebook. Out of control.
“Thank God for Mom & Dad sticking together cause we don’t know how.”
– OutKast said it best.
My parents have been married 42 years today and I forgot. I called late to say congrats and my Dad says, “Thanks, but it really has nothing to do with you, you’ve only been alive for a some of those years.”
I never thought of it that way, but he is...
October 2011
3 posts
1 tag
The Great Pumpkin and His Birthday
My mind has been so preoccupied lately that I almost forgot about Halloween. Almost, because everywhere I went this weekend there was at least one person with some part of a costume. The sailor on the subway, the barista in bunny ears, that bum outside of the Duane Reed in a cape.
Halloween has never been a favorite holiday for me and I think, like most things, it goes back to childhood. My mom...
Highway Warrior
Over the past couple days I’ve gone from New York to Philly to Allentown to Philly and back to New York.
I don’t even know where I am anymore.
My road trip ended on this good luck charm. If odometers work the same way that slot machines do, my luck is about to change. Fingers crossed.
“Things always happen the way that they are supposed to.”
– My mom has said this to me my whole life but I’ve only recently started to believe her.
September 2011
3 posts
2 tags
What's up with your religion?
This morning at the corner bodega, while I was picking out an orange for breakfast, the homeless guy next to me was stealing peaches. He would pick up two at a time, shove them into his plastic bag, and make the sign of the cross. He did this contradictory ritual 4 or 5 times, making sure to finish his invisible cross before moving on to the next two peaches. For some reason, I found this...
3 tags
Your Thoughts Are Worth Way More Than Pennies
I’m all settled into my new place and it feels a lot more like home than my last home ever did. So far, I wouldn’t say it’s been exactly easy, but it’s been amazing. I’ve learned a lot, and I’ve only been here a week.
Most of my neighbors are old-head Jamaican gentlemen which I love. I feel like I gained a whole new set of grandfathers who sit on the stoop and...
August 2011
8 posts
2 tags
3 tags
“Well… as The Roots have been known to say… Sometimes, relationships...”
– The answer I get when I ask my hip hop head roommate for relationship advice.
2 tags
Listen.
This Leo Miles album’s got me talking all Chris Rock like…***
”I’ma thank him. I’ma buy the album. I’ma download that muthafucker. I’ma shot a bootlegger. That’s how good I feel about this.”
Support Philly. Listen to this.
themilesdream.bandcamp.com/album/midnight-audio-dreams
3 tags
Be Careful... Your Character Is Showing.
When I was growing up my parents used the reasoning, “Because it builds character” for everything.
Me: Why do I hafta to eat tofu?
Mom: Because it builds character.
Me: Why do I hafta mow the lawn?
Dad: Because it builds character.
Me: Why are The Cosby Show & The Golden Girls the only TV shows I’m allowed to watch?
Mom & Dad: Because they...
2 tags
“Involuntary Sugar Trench-Coating; (adjective)
The unconscious act of...”
July 2011
1 post
1 tag
I Like My Karma Fast
I’ve always said that the restaurant industry has to have its own set of Gods and therefore, its own definition of karma.
Working in the business isn’t easy, customers are assholes, bosses treat you as disposable. You develop thick skin and a sick sense of humor because that’s what you need to survive. Everything is on speed in this little world, high turnover rates, fast pay...
June 2011
2 posts
1 tag
The John Legend Effect
I hate John Legend, like with a passion. I don’t listen to his music and I try not to look at his face. When a song of his does come on, I automatically make a stank face and pout if I’m forced to listen to it. It wasn’t always like this, I used to love him and it’s not John’s fault. I’m sure he’s a perfectly nice guy and he’s definitely talented....
“With you, everything is always alright. No complaints, no drama. That’s a...”
– Catching up with an old friend this morning. Thanks for the best compliment I’ve heard all week.
May 2011
7 posts
1 tag
“Girl, you should marry me. Obama’s my uncle. We’ll be livin’...”
– Getting creative with the pick-up attempts. I like that.
2 tags
Philadelphia & Me. An abusive love story.
Recently, I’ve been treating Philly like some dead-beat boyfriend. When everyone else is singing the city’s praises, I’m singing Miss. Jackson’s, What have you done for me lately.
We’ve always been in a love/hate relationship. When it’s good, it’s great & when it’s bad, it’s horrible. I’ve threatened to leave a handful of times,...
“I have my own holidays in my little life and today is a big one. It’s...”
It saddens me that death, whether of our own...
April 2011
7 posts
“It was like I had a plastic bag over my head. At first it felt weird and a...”
– My friend Jen, describing the stages of her (and I think everyone’s) last relationship.
2 tags
Go Ahead, I'm Listening.
Yesterday I forgot my ipod. I pictured my monotonous day without my personal soundtrack and almost turned around to go get it, but couldn’t find my keys in my humongous bag and I was already late so I sucked it up.
I walked past the dude on the subway platform that I see every day, but instead of asking me for money like I always assumed he did, he tried to sell me percocet. I was caught...
2 tags
“If you walk into a house that you’ve never been in before, and meet a cat...”
– Common Sense 101 from Killer & me.
1 tag
3 tags
Whoever Invented Icy Hot is a Genius
When my 9am-5pm working world suddenly changed into a 5pm-3am world, I learned two important lessons…
I never again want to spend my days in a 9-5 suit&tie career working for someone else’s dream. I also learned that I don’t want to spend many more nocturnal nights around drunkster’s. My goal lately has been to find a happy medium between the two lifestyles.
I do a...
March 2011
4 posts
“Change the way you look at things and the things you look at will change.”
– Today is Erin Express a.k.a. St. Patty’s Day or my version of hell. Positive thinking don’t fail me now.
2 tags
Bamboozled by the Funny
We all have our weaknesses. That one factor that makes us overlook all other serious character flaws.
Men have been known to date crazy bitches because a fat ass has the power to mesmerize. I know women who succumb to every skinny-jean-hipster-dude that looks in their direction, no matter how much of a manwhore he may be.
I happen to fall victim to the funny. If you can make me laugh, my...
February 2011
10 posts
“Just because you’re being nice and on your “A” game...”
– My co-worker gives the best back-handed compliments.