So… that was Monday.

I’m back in the world of a waking up early, wearing a suit, working all day and going to happy hour. I love a steady paycheck and health insurance. I hate the florescent lighting and waking up early and wearing a suit and working all day.

I’ve been there long enough now that my co-workers are comfortable telling me how they really feel and I’m comfortable enough to make them feel that way, apparently. 

Monday’s are tough. Wednesday’s are tough. Friday’s are tough. I can deal with Tuesday and Thursday, but that’s about it. 

I’ve also realized that I don’t seem to get sick unless I’m working in an office all day, so it’s all really just an evil cycle. Funny how that works. 

As a matter of fact, I do know that person listed on the right side of the page. We went out one time 3 years ago, haven’t spoken since and share no mutual friends. The real question is, how do you know I know him?

You’re outta control Facebook. Out of control. 

My mind has been so preoccupied lately that I almost forgot about Halloween. Almost, because everywhere I went this weekend there was at least one person with some part of a costume. The sailor on the subway, the barista in bunny ears, that bum outside of the Duane Reed in a cape. 

Halloween has never been a favorite holiday for me and I think, like most things, it goes back to childhood. My mom thought that sugar was the worst thing ever for children, after cigarettes of course. Growing up, dessert was always fruit and if we were extra lucky, maybe we got sesame candies from the health food store. I actually wish I was kidding. Our house gave out mini boxes of raisons and bags of pretzels. We only ever got a couple of trick-or-treaters before the word got out and all of the kids went straight to our neighbor who gave out king-size snickers. We had left over healthy snacks for months. 

My mom had to think of some brilliant scheme so that we could dress up and collect candy like normal children, but not immediately come home and inhale all of those delicious kid-size chocolates. She came up with her own holiday, The Great Pumpkin’s Birthday. Apparently, The Great Pumpkin from Charlie Brown celebrated his birthday on Halloween and conveniently,  all he wanted every year was all of our candy. We got to pick a couple of pieces to keep for ourselves and the rest were handed over selflessly so that The Pumpkin could be happy. In return, he gave us a present too, it was usually a book. 

I never thought to question my mom’s reasoning (obviously she raised us well) and I still don’t know if this October Holiday rendition of Charlie Brown is accurate because I’ve never had the patience to sit through the whole special, but my instincts tell me it probably goes a little differently. 

 Happy Halloween and a Happy Birthday shout out to The Great Pumpkin, that sugar stealing bastard. 

Over the past couple days I’ve gone from New York to Philly to Allentown to Philly and back to New York. 

I don’t even know where I am anymore.

My road trip ended on this good luck charm. If odometers work the same way that slot machines do, my luck is about to change. Fingers crossed. 

This morning at the corner bodega, while I was picking out an orange for breakfast, the homeless guy next to me was stealing peaches. He would pick up two at a time, shove them into his plastic bag, and make the sign of the cross. He did this contradictory ritual 4 or 5 times, making sure to finish his invisible cross before moving on to the next two peaches. For some reason, I found this fascinating at 8am and just stood there and watched him. 

My first thought was, “Peaches… good choice, lots of vitamins.” You normally don’t see homeless people eating fruit. This guy wants to be healthy. If I was homeless, I’d probably want peaches too. Then I thought, “Obviously this guy doesn’t want to have to steal if he is so concerned with making crosses.”

Just then, Mr. Peach got caught, the bodega owner starts chasing him and he is hobbling as fast as he can down the sidewalk and I turn away to go and find some coffee because this is just too much action so early in the morning. I don’t know if he had to give his peaches back or not. I want to think he got away. 

For some reason I’ve been thinking about this episode all day. Even though you’re not supposed to steal, you’re also supposed to feed your neighbor or something like that. The homeless man apologized with his little crosses after his “sin”, did the bodega owner do any signs of the cross for not loving his neighbor? Probably not. So who’s really in the wrong here? Hmmm…..